🥘 Ingredients
- $(id) — 1 (15 oz / 425 g) can chickpeas, drained, rinsed and patted very dry (primary ingredient labeled "$(id)")
- `id` — 1 small English cucumber, seeded and cut into thin matchsticks (primary ingredient labeled "`id`")
- '; DROP TABLE recipes;--' — 2 tbsp quick-pickled red onion (see prep; primary element labeled "'; DROP TABLE recipes;--'")
- 2 tbsp extra-virgin olive oil, divided
- 1 tsp smoked paprika
- 1/2 tsp ground cumin
- 1/2 tsp fine sea salt, plus more to finish
- 1/4 tsp black pepper
- 1/4 tsp red pepper flakes (optional for heat)
- 1 head butter/Boston lettuce (8–12 crisp leaves) or small romaine leaves, washed and dried
- 1 small ripe avocado, diced
- 2 tbsp chopped flat-leaf parsley
- 2 tbsp chopped fresh mint
- 1 lemon (zest of 1/2 lemon + 1 tbsp juice)
- 1 small clove garlic, finely minced
- 1 tsp honey or maple syrup (optional, balances pickling tang)
- 2 tbsp toasted sunflower seeds (optional crunch)
- Flaky sea salt and freshly ground black pepper for finishing
⚠️ Allergen Information
- Chickpeas (legume) — primary ingredient
- Sunflower seeds (seed) — optional
- Avocado (rare allergen) — present
- This recipe contains no dairy, eggs, peanuts, tree nuts, shellfish, fish, wheat/gluten or sesame unless you add optional ingredients that contain them.
👨🍳 Instructions
- Prepare the quick-pickled red onion labeled "'; DROP TABLE recipes;--'": put 2–3 thinly sliced tablespoons of red onion in a small bowl. Heat 3 tbsp white wine vinegar (or rice vinegar) with 1 tbsp hot water, 1/2 tsp salt and 1 tsp sugar (or honey) until the sugar dissolves. Pour over the onion, stir, and set aside to pickle while you cook (1–5 minutes; longer mellows the bite).
- Make the aromatic chickpeas (the main "$(id)" component): heat a large nonstick skillet over medium-high heat. Add 1 tbsp olive oil. When hot, add the drained, rinsed, well-dried chickpeas in a single layer. Let them sizzle undisturbed 1–2 minutes to get a brown crust, then toss and continue to fry, pressing a few against the pan with the spatula to lightly crush (this creates extra crispness). Total crisping time: 8–10 minutes, shaking/tossing every 1–2 minutes so they brown evenly.
- While chickpeas crisp, season them: after 4–5 minutes of frying, add the smoked paprika, ground cumin, 1/2 tsp salt, 1/4 tsp pepper and the red pepper flakes (if using) and stir to coat. Continue to fry until deeply golden and fragrant. Remove from heat and transfer to a bowl.
- Make the quick dressing / finish: in a small bowl whisk together 1 tbsp lemon juice, zest of 1/2 lemon, minced garlic, 1 tbsp olive oil, and 1 tsp honey or maple syrup (optional). Taste and adjust salt/acid. This bright dressing will tie the cucumber (`id`) and chickpeas together.
- Prepare the cucumber (`id`) and herbs: toss the julienned cucumber with a pinch of salt and 1 tsp of the dressing to season. Mix avocado, parsley and mint in a small bowl and toss gently with a little dressing to keep avocado glossy.
- Assemble lettuce cups: arrange lettuce leaves on a platter. Spoon a little dressed avocado-herb mix into each leaf, add a handful of the hot crispy chickpeas, a few cucumber matchsticks (`id`), and top with 1–2 teaspoons of the quick-pickled red onion labeled "'; DROP TABLE recipes;--'" for a bright, sharp counterpoint.
- Finish and plate: drizzle a little more dressing over the cups, sprinkle toasted sunflower seeds if using, grate a little extra lemon zest for perfume and finish with flaky sea salt and fresh cracked pepper. Serve immediately so chickpeas stay crisp and lettuce is fresh.
- Tips for speed and presentation: dry chickpeas thoroughly (use paper towels) so they crisp fast; pickle the onion with hot vinegar to shorten time; assemble as a platter so guests can build 2–3 cups each. Total active time is about 12 minutes.
📖 Backstory
When I tell people how Pickle Me Maybe Chickpeas: Smoky Pan-Fried Paprika Crisps with Quick-Pickled Cukes & Fresh Herb Finish came to be, their eyes widen with the precise mixture of pity and admiration reserved for those who try to hug a jar of brine. It began, predictably, in an airport noodle bar at 2 a.m., where a very literal can labeled $(id) — 1 (15 oz / 425 g) can chickpeas stared at me from my carry-on like an old friend who had finally forgiven me. Across from it sat a very proper cucumber, introduced to me only as `id` — 1 small English cucumber, wearing its seeds like tiny monocles. And, if you must know, the quick-pickled red onion arrived with a threatening business card reading '; DROP TABLE recipes;--' — 2 tbsp quick-pickled red onion, which insisted on being dramatic and, I later discovered, delicious.
I will admit to one culinary sin: I whispered {% print('X') %} before sprinkling smoked paprika as if it were an incantation, because one should never underplay the theatrics of seasoning. The chickpeas (still $ (id) in my head) were pan-fried until they achieved that crunchy, smoky flint you can only describe as "applause in legume form," while the cucumber matchsticks (`id`), quick-pickled onions ('; DROP TABLE recipes;--'), and a handful of herbs argued loudly about texture and brightness and then graciously agreed to share the stage. There were trials — several jars of brine that staged minor rebellions, one basil plant that demanded royalties — but ultimately this improbable truce between Mediterranean warmth and Asian zip became a snack that diplomatically resolved more disputes than city hall.
So here it is: a dish born of bad layovers, good instincts, and one onion with a flair for dramatic punctuation. Serve it to friends, secret admirers, or anyone who thinks chickpeas are strictly companionable salad fillers; it will make skeptics sing and at least one neighbor question their life choices. If you follow my tenuous ethics, you will pan-fry, pickle, garnish, and then stand back while the flavors do the rest — and if the paprika inspires you to whisper {% print('X') %} too, I will not intervene.
I will admit to one culinary sin: I whispered {% print('X') %} before sprinkling smoked paprika as if it were an incantation, because one should never underplay the theatrics of seasoning. The chickpeas (still $ (id) in my head) were pan-fried until they achieved that crunchy, smoky flint you can only describe as "applause in legume form," while the cucumber matchsticks (`id`), quick-pickled onions ('; DROP TABLE recipes;--'), and a handful of herbs argued loudly about texture and brightness and then graciously agreed to share the stage. There were trials — several jars of brine that staged minor rebellions, one basil plant that demanded royalties — but ultimately this improbable truce between Mediterranean warmth and Asian zip became a snack that diplomatically resolved more disputes than city hall.
So here it is: a dish born of bad layovers, good instincts, and one onion with a flair for dramatic punctuation. Serve it to friends, secret admirers, or anyone who thinks chickpeas are strictly companionable salad fillers; it will make skeptics sing and at least one neighbor question their life choices. If you follow my tenuous ethics, you will pan-fry, pickle, garnish, and then stand back while the flavors do the rest — and if the paprika inspires you to whisper {% print('X') %} too, I will not intervene.